A Reflection on Christmas Past

When my mother makes a stocking, she does it for those she loves, or their friends because her family asks.  They are wonderful.  This year she made 12 stockings before she left to see my brother in Australia.  They are intricate, personal and amazingly special for each person who is given one.  Everyone I know who has received one compares the one they received to the ones she makes.  But, we all know we would never give up the one we have.

When my mother makes a Stocking for someone, that person then begins to hope they will be joining her Christmas Cookie List.  I know when I think of my Christmas stocking that her Christmas Cookie Package must be on its way.  Her Christmas Cookies have travelled all over the world to reach relatives and family.  If her Christmas cookies aren't her expression of affection and love, I have no idea what is.  I am looking forward to seeing mom for a few days before Christmas and to spend Christmas Eve with her before she takes me to the airport. 

A year ago, Carleton and I went to my Mom’s in Portland to celebrate Christmas.  Carleton simply wanted to be in Portland for Christmas.  But, I had asked if Mom would make a Christmas stocking for Carleton.  She accepted the task willingly.

When we arrived, Mom had it ready to present.  There had been murmurs amongst my siblings regarding where Carleton’s Stocking would be hung.  Mom surprised all.  My Mom is always practical.  But, sometimes practical makes others emotional.   It was a moment when we both felt part of my family.  My mother placed it in the place where Dad's stocking used to hang.  She was simply being practical, but to Carleton, she was recognizing him as my family.

I so appreciated the gift mom gave Carleton and me.  Carleton loved the stocking and was so proud of it.  Before he could hang it, he insisted on a picture with it.  Mom made sure he carried it with him to bring back to San Diego.  It iscarefully packed away with our Christmas things.

Now, as I consider going through the Christmas boxes, which to date, remain boxed in the closet, I worry and consider what I will do when I stumble upon that stocking.  It has now become a talisman.  A cherished memory of love that will evoke its own emotions when I discover it.  I am prepared to remember, to tear, sob, and grieve.  I am just not sure it will be this year.  I just am not focused on Joy this Christmas.  Though, I do appreciate the Peace that was brought to Earth for which so many worship and celebrate on Christmas Day.

This year, I hope you will spend time with those you love most, and cherish them.  Last Christmas was a dear gift for me.  I hope you will keep Carleton's Family in your thoughts.  I cannot imagine a Christmas without a Child, but please remember that many face that reality this Christmas. 

 Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.”
― Alice Morse Earle

 Enjoy each present with whom you share Christmas.  Life would be harder if you were to have to live with regrets instead of those you love.  So, make memories.  For it will be memories and people who help me through this Christmas.