The Most Precious Holiday in My Calendar - Thanksgiving

I appreciate a grocery store being opened in the morning for those of us who forgot an essential ingredient.  I have stopped by a restaurant chain with employees who volunteered for the shifts.  Not to mention that to get to grandmothers house, which is over the river and through the woods, you certainly need to make sure a gas station is available for refueling.  No, I will not be shopping on Thanksgiving beyond the bare essentials.

Thanksgiving is a most sacred day.  Consumerism is ignored though it may scratch at the edges.  This Thursday each year is the one day when all Americans cherish each other.  It is people over profits.  I consider it the one day of the year when everyone has an opportunity to feel a sense of warmth toward those who they call family, even if it is not with someone blood related.

Thanksgiving is certainly an event of magnificent proportions.  There are the many pounds of turkey, gallons of gravy, bowls of stuffing, and the many styles of vegetables concoctions.  Secretly each person may judge another’s green bean casseroles or cranberry sauces, but each is special in its own way.  It is a day where each person hopes to belong and where others purpose to be inclusive.  It is one day where the term family is stretched, like so many waist lines, to the limits, undaunted by blood, marriage, or any form of discriminatory exclusion.  It is one day where few are turned away and hopefully no one is forgotten.

Truly resourceful Thanksgiving revelers take advantage of the abundance of terminology on the fourth Thursday of the November.  They appreciate that “family” is inclusively expanded.  True revelers also passionately rejoice at the Thanksgiving expansion of the dinner and dessert options.  The truly creative multiply the families they must visit. 

I cherish Thanksgiving.  It is the day when all are invited to belong.  Each person is able to reflect on what they have or have experienced and spend time reflecting on what and who they have.  It also is the beginning of a season when many reflect on events, experiences, friends, and loves who are no more.  Yet, most, if not all, would not change those cherished experiences, no matter the feelings of loss.

Thanksgiving is not simply a day, but perhaps a weekend of events where extended family reconnects, revisit old stories, review achievements, reflect on old passions, and recommits to forgotten secrets.  If consumerism is at all discussed, let it be well after dinner.  Use it as a game.  Consider bringing the newspaper with all its ads to a cleared off table.  Let each person peruse and develop their own strategy for accumulating gifts.  Yet, leave the execution of the plan for another day.  Stay together and laugh on Thanksgiving.  

In my family, Thanksgiving has become the most important holiday where we obey the rules of peace and truce.  Thanksgiving is about joy and plenty, not politics or position.  It is an exhausting yet exhilarating day.  Each participant functions in a form of service to all.  Each is challenged to serve in ways they may not normally function. 

In years past, we did not have these rules.  Yet, we developed them to assure that all were welcomed.  No matter the interpersonal issues, Thanksgiving has always drawn me to my family.  And, while the pies Mom makes were certainly incentive on their own, it was the belonging that demanded answering.  And, as we expanded our invitations to others, our family Thanksgiving flourished, too.

In many homes, there will be conflict.  In many homes, someone’s feelings will be hurt.  Family is not perfect.  Thanksgiving is so immense in its concept that the holiday experience manages to address these experiences, too.  For it is having those painful moments that allows us to be thankful for where we live now, who we love, and why we make those types of choices.  Thanksgiving provides opportunities to create new families or add additional families to visit throughout the day.

In past years, when my personal interaction with my dad was not spectacular, I developed a three hour rule.  Much like Gilligan’s Island’s three hour tour, I started with family optimism.  Yet, if storms developed into tsunamis of destruction, after three hours, a graceful exit could be made to seek families of creation or invitation.  While I would mourn the loss of pie creations by mom, the change in weather at another home did not bring the same focused attention.

No Thanksgiving is without its challenge or reward.  And Thanksgiving is certainly the one day when all relationships are cherished no matter how poorly another communicates its value.

Thanksgiving is perhaps the last stronghold of community and the last holy day of connection.  It encourages me to belong, to love, to connect, to pursue moments of reflection, to laugh, to be in the presence of others who love.  It is a powerful time to spend time appreciating what is, rather than what will be or what was. 
 
No matter your circumstance, no matter how you feel, I hope if you have no plans tomorrow, you will call and join with others.  For Thanksgiving is not powerful when you are alone.  It is when we join together and give thanks that its power is demonstrated.  Make this Thanksgiving a wonderful time of belonging.   Each Thanksgiving is so powerful, you can make a tradition after only one!