Facebook quandary when your boyfriend's mother wants in.

I have a fear.  It is a fear of family.   That isn’t to say that I reject the concept.  I love the Appleton family with its diverse and rich stories, the family reunions and the traditions each of the Appleton subsets create. 

The Brown family, with all of its conversations, drama, and passion are an entirely different family culture, and one that I appreciate as well.  Though, at times, I wonder how my mother and father maneuvered the waters between those two cultures of family, I represent much of both.

And, it is with great fear, that I have been introduced to a third family by Carleton.  I have stood at a distance, over more than two years, after several invites.  I have attended Christmas Dinner and learned about an entirely different set of rules.  I have met the entire family, at one sitting, which is simply not possible in an Appleton or Brown world.  Yet, I offered my own set of rules in exchange and met some wonderful people in their family.  I love their grandma who is in her 80’s simply because of her affection for Carleton.  And, I appreciate the small family of Carleton’s who is now facing the crisis he lives today.

See, I have a healthy respect, even love, for family.  But, Linda, Carleton’s mom, just asked to be invited to my Facebook.  Is she crazy?  Most of my own family would prefer not having to feel obligated to be member of my Facebook.  Yet, without at least one representative from each family keeping tabs on me, how else would they get information about how I am doing, what crusade I am on, or how everyone else is doing?   You forget an important construct of the Appleton family.  The phone is a tool that rings, they aren’t normally aware of how to use the numerical buttons on it.  Well, except Aunt Doris.  But, she is in her 80’s. 

Yet, why does Linda want to be my “friend” on Facebook?  My first worry was whether to call her to ask her if she personally had become TOTALLY INSANE?  I realized that would be met with chuckles from the males in her family, including Carleton.  And, I have had several serious discussions with Carleton already about his tone, conversation, and interaction with his mom. 

My second idea was to perhaps “edit” her experience initially with my Facebook.  For a brief moment I considered it.  Before I laughed hilariously as reality swept back into that temporary fantasy land I created where I withhold my opinion, avoid making sweeping generalizations, avoid a humorous comment where someone finds offense, or where I do not raise issues of concern, daily. 

My third choice was simply, and quietly, to ignore the request.  Right, that would work.  Just like that would work in my family.  “You accepted so and so, why aren’t you accepting my request”.   My food might be poisoned.  Or, worse, the grapes she brings when she brings Gatorade for Carleton would stop arriving.

So, ultimately, I will quietly (well as quietly as I am capable of) accept Linda into my Facebook family.  Yet, that acceptance is with two caveats, for Linda.   First, I reject the idea that Facebook or any other forum is to be censored for the person who is being represented in that forum.  Secondly, after acceptance, I have been told by my sister, editing options are available to “protect” those who have willingly joined my Facebook then determine to move Facebook issues to family events.  Because, I learned long ago, politics before Apple Pie just ruins Mom’s day.

So, as I reminded all of you when Mom joined Facebook.  Mind your P's and Q's!    You can always send me a personal question directly without posting it on Facebook for the "Mom's" to see.

A Personal Note for Linda

Welcome Linda Cannon, to my Facebook Page.  In advance, please note that I have been working for equality for women, minorities, and the LGBT Community specifically since before 1990.  On women’s issues, I tend to be irritably strident and on LGBT Community issues, I rarely will accept anything less than equality for all.

You may want to temper and adjust your receipt of my Facebook postings, since I will post anything I find funny, of concern, or an issue that I find of importance.  This may include racy or political topics. 

Currently, I am the Chair of the GSDBA, I post many of their events to invite those who are my friends to join me there.

I hope you will enjoy your stroll into my world.  It is a world where crazy meets compassion.  There are few topics that I won’t venture to have an opinion, for instances, what color napkins to have for a luncheon.   Feel free to review my tirades on gun violence or attacks on gay youth, because I consider all gay youth my children.  You will see notes from friends I have had for 20 plus years. 

This certainly is one facet of my brain, exposed, for you to learn how I function.  Already, you will note how I serve, care, and function around Carleton.  And, currently, you have not weighed in and I would be a fool to inquire as to your opinion.