Phrases Women Say that Men Don't Understand

For 45 years, I have had a wonderfully amazing mother.  For over 40 years, my sister has been in my life.  For many years, I have enjoyed great friendships with girls and women.  Many of them shared secrets with me about boys/men they found interesting or fascinating.  For over 20 years, I have also served in LGBT organizations where women have been a significant part of the membership, leadership, or who benefited from the services of those organizations.  For years, certain words I would hear caused me great confusion until I identified that I had a different definition of these words than women did.  Now, 20 years after I started in my current practice, 70% of my clients are women, 20% are gay men, and the remaining clients are progressives who enjoy my perspective.

The words below are words I have provided current definitions when identifying the connotation of the word when spoken by many of the females I have met.  This is not an exhaustive list nor do the definitions mean exactly what I have written.  It is a suggested definition if you are male, you are in a conversation with a woman, in any type of relationship whether in business, at a restaurant, or in your private life.  It can make life a lot easier when you understand a connotation of word, rather than the definition you have foolishly applied.

Words and phrases to consider:

Whatever – You are wrong.  She is right.  She isn’t willing to discuss the topic any longer.

Fine - Women use “fine” to end an argument when they have already decided they are right. That one word means “shut up” as this conversation is over.

“I’m fine.”  - Translation: “I am anything but fine.” She may be upset, annoyed, anxious or hurt. Calmly ask what she needs of you rather than asking her what is wrong.

Nothing – This word means anything but “nothing”.

Have it Your Way – Immediately choose to not do it your way.

It Doesn’t Matter – Trust me, what you next do will matter.

Don’t worry about it – Worry, and worry a lot.  Likely you need to execute on whatever was discussed in the last two minutes and FAST.

Ok – Red alert.  Do not pass go.  Ok actually means that the discussion is over, she has made up her mind, you are wrong, but you will be addressed later.

Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. She is testing if you will really do something she most likely disapproves of.

You can do whatever you want – My mom used a similar term when I was younger.  You can do whatever you can afford.  This is a phrase that provides you an early warning system that you can not do whatever you want.  You might want to carefully consider any actions that you have been discussing.

Forget it – Consider yourself dismissed from the conversation.  You have lost any negotiation power in the conversation.  The only thing you might be able to do is engage in any activity that was recently shared and get it done now.

That’s okay – It is far from okay.

You’re Right – You aren’t.

The Decision is yours – Not really, just go ahead.

We need to talk – This doesn’t really mean there will be a conversation.  This means that you will be listening, your ears will burn, your eyes may boil out of your head, but you best not say anything during the conversation.

Enough - I have recently added this word.  It may be the only word that is truly clear.  Whatever was just said best not be executed, discussed, or identified in the future.  You are warned.

Silence – Stay busy.  Take out the trash.  Fill up the car with gas.  Clean the toilet.  Stay busy.  Do not engage until you have completed about 1,000 tasks that have been suggested you get accomplished.  And, at all costs, do not turn on the television.

Ladies, what words would you include?  Men, do you have anything to add?