A Thank You Is Never Enough, Nick Toledo, TSYS Merchant Solutions

A wonderful part of my position as Board Chair of GSDBA is the opportunity to thank people who volunteer to make important decisions.

GSDBA Board of Directors volunteer their time and set aside valuable time to help our Chamber create an environment where the LGBT community can develop and grow their dreams of owning a successful business or pursue their professional goals. It is always an honor to work with these professional leaders in their passion to serve others, in their drive to help GSDBA members create opportunities for financial success while advocating for our values of diversity and opportunity. These are values that benefit the LGBT Community and the Greater San Diego area.

Nick Toledo works as a TSYS Merchant Advocate at TSYS Merchant Solutions, a Sponsorship Partner of the GSDBA. Nick Toledo served on the GSDBA Board as a Director and as the Committee Chair for Ambassadors from December 2011 to December 2012. The Ambassador Committeeis one of the most popular programs of GSDBA.

Nick Toledo led the Board decision to merge the Ambassadors Committee and Membership Committee. He has participated in a BNG for years and served with the Ambassadors as well. His reliability and passion in participating in his Business Network Group and Ambassadors, while advocating for new program development to serve members brought him to his leadership time with the GSDBA Board.

He developed the GSDBA Board strategy for a comprehensive approach to Membership Development, which could oversee the process from Member Recruitment and Introduction through to Engagement and Member Retention. The merger of the Ambassadors Committee and Membership allows one committee the ability to manage the new member experience at events while providing membership benefit information.

I asked Nick Toledo what I should let other GSDBA Members know about his experience at GSDBA that I could share with them. He said that as a GSDBA Member, you have to get involved a BNG Group or join a committee to utilize your membership to its fullest business potential. He also felt that participating and volunteering with GSDBA can be a great person growth experience.

TSYS Merchant Solutionswill be sponsoring a table at the GSDBA Annual Business Luncheon. I hope you will stop by at the GSDBA Business Awards Luncheon to thank him for his service. To learn more about TSYS and their sponsorship of GSDBA, you can contact Nick Toledo at ntoledo@tsys.com or to learn more about TSYS, check them out at www.tsysmerchantsolutions.com.

Please congratulate him for TSYS being named to Ethisphere's 2013 World's Most Ethical Companies.

Faith, Women and Equality

Today, I read a story from Amanpour on CNN urging women to pursue their education and their power.  The way women are treated in Afghanistan horrifies me.  Yet, in my own country, we have men who hold women hostage for decades.

My faith belief is that God created M en and Women in the Image of God.  That image is Spirit and Truth.  The value of Men and Women is our combined, and individual, exploration and exercise of that Spirit and Truth and in our (life, personality, truth, wisdom, love, holiness, justice).  

I believe most people would prefer not to be valued based on their genitalia.  Yet, for thousands of years, the human race, and many of its faiths, has done so.   It saddens me at that loss of potential which God intended.  And, when those who believe women are not the equal of men, I have asked whether they believe God has a penis.  I rarely hear a "cocky" answer.  With such a question, even idiots are careful to consider their response.

I pray women everywhere will feel they are the equal to men.  They are not better or more, they are equal.  Yet, at times, even in the Western World, I meet women who hope they are, they don't know they are.  It always astonishes me.  Yet, that would be because I am not female, have not honored a faith that considered me inferior, nor heard or believed any regular messaging which enforced lies of oppression or inferiority.

I regularly see women in business meetings quietly attending.  Few rooms encourage debate, fewer meetings encourage strong opinions to be shared.   The environment where men have argued and debated was for thousands of years was rarely invaded by women.

I meet women weekly who are stunned to learn that men don't receive better financial training, in secret classes, separate from women.  Frustrated, I engage them, educate them, and never patronize them.  Many feel they are the only ones who do not understand investing concepts.  The reality is that neither do most men.

Over the last 20 years, I have learned the staggering loss created by missed opportunities that create reality.  Yet, women in room after room, where I attend meetings do not fully participate.

Last year, in a meeting I attended by financial advisors, the gender make up of the room was nearly even.  The company providing the training had selected professional experts, without specific intent, excluded women from those expert presentations.  Half way through the three day meeting, the CEO of this corporation made a presentation.  At the completion of his presentation, I was the first to raise my hand with a question.  I asked a basic question about the gender representation on his Corporate Board, relating it to the speaker line up.  As the CEO quickly reviewed the line up, he was stunned, then quickly provided information about the female leadership through out the company.

I was pleased with the answer, but disturbed by what happened next.  The woman sitting next to me quickly told me thank you, admitting that she wouldn't bring herself to ask that question. At the break, nearly every woman in the room came up to me to say "thank you for your question".  Astonished and discouraged, I realized I was the one who asked the question no one else was willing to ask.  Yet, it is one question of challenge which benefits all.

My astonishment could be due to the reality that I have a mother who is exceptional, a sister who is unstoppable, and female friends, clients, and relatives who challenge any concepts or suggestions of inferiority or oppression based on their gender.   It might also be due to the fact that women in my life speak out (or call you out).  It has taught me to do the same.

Ultimately, women will become their own best advocates.  Their Spirit and their Truth will continue to challenge them to develop their equality.  Until then, I am one who will speak out when they either can not or will not.

Consider the reason I am passionate about equality.  The theme of choice and equality for women is echoed throughout the Bible, yet rarely communicated.  When so many have Faiths that seem to flourish with messages of superiority, I have found in the same Faith the demand to expect the values of Equality.

My Faith confirms the equality of women with men.  From Genesis to Revelations, I read stories where women are leaders, where women are consulted, where women are the main sources of support.  These facts and stories developed my beliefs into a simple principle repeated in Old and New Testaments.  It is the principle that God does not value gender nor despises what gender you are, only some people do.

Leadership Opportunity Available at PABA

In 1996, well over 15 years ago, I had the opportunity to serve as a board member of the Portland Area Business Association (PABA).  PABA began in 1992, I joined in 1993.  I served on the board of PABA and ultimately served as the President of PABA then as the Past President as we worked to invigorate and grow as a chamber.  The opportunity to serve on the PABA allowed me to learn how to manage my business better, negotiate powerful and interesting people and their personal goals, while working with competitors and other business owners to create a chamber that pursued a greater good for the Portland Community, valuing diversity, openness, while developing business resources in the community for the challenges our community faced.

The opportunity to lead from a position as a board member in the community is just one of the benefits I valued as a PABA board member.  I learned how to plan, recruit, encourage, and develop strategic plans and execute on the goals of the organization.  I became connected with professionals all over the state while being a part of creating a more diverse, accepting, and financially strengthened community.

If you live in the Portland Metro area, work as a business owner or professional and are looking for an outlet for your passion and  creativity or you would like to develop your skills serving in leadership, yet learning to find ways to engage others, or have excellent problem solving and goal development drive, consider joining the PABA Board.   It is an excellent place to challenge these skills while learning more yourself and the members you serve.  It also is a great way to learn about the diverse needs of the LGBT Community. 

 

Should you be considering becoming involved with PABA let me tell you a few more things.  Serving on the PABA Board was a fulfilling and enriching experience for me.  I know it has been for many others.  It offers the chance for your business to grow or professional development to blossom. 

PABA has helped so many business owners become successful.  Now is a great time for business owners and professionals who are enjoying success to also give back and contribute to the future of the LGBT Business Community in Portland.

 

The PABA Board of Directors will have 6 openings for Board Members.  If you have questions, feel free to contact a current PABA Board Member or Jill Nelson, Executive Director 503-730-9187.  Each of the six positions is a general director position which has a 2 year term starting on July 1, 2013 continuing until June 30th, 2015.   

Applications are available by contacting the office at pdxpaba@gmail.com or by telephone at 503-280-7222.  They are available until May 24^th and must be returned by May 31^st.  Ballots will be sent June 10^th ,  to be returned by June 20^th.

Shout out to Kaleb Scott, Business Owner and GSDBA Member

It is always a great thing to congratulate, encourage, and feature great efforts.  GSDBA Members, whether they serve on the Board, on a committee, or represent GSDBA at events, in meetings or in the community, are the spirit of GSDBA. They work to develop diversity, create success, and build community. Thank you, Kaleb Scott, for your membership and leadership in GSDBA.

• Kaleb Scott Photographs

  LGBT Community Update:
  
  Toni Atkins (Assembly Majority Leader) has been a strong advocate for the LGBT community. Her California State Assembly website states: "Issues of concern to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community have also been a high priority for Toni, as she represents the highest concentration of LGBT residents in San Diego."
  
  Kaleb Scott Photographs was happy to represent the community as a GSDBA member at the Small Business Advisory Council meeting featured in the May/June issue of Connection Magazine.
  ... He was also hired to shoot Toni at her gala fund raiser in La Jolla. Other attendees included City Council member Todd Gloria; Speaker of the Assembly John A. Pérez, well-know representatives from the LBGT community and other political supporters.
  
  "It's a rare pleasure to work with people who
  fight for our community rights. Something I look forward to continuing." stated Kaleb Scott.
   

  

Major Sports, Advertising, and the LGBT Market.

Recently, I had the opportunity to be the Grand Slam Sponsor for East Village Association at the Opening Day for the Padres. I met clients as the walked by the location where Waddell & Reed was prominently featured. I was later joined by Sue Sneeringer from the GSDBA office and her partner, Mary Jo. We had a great time.

Later, on the same day as SD Pride sponsored "Out at the Park", I determined to have a client event in one of the suites the Padres offer. When meeting with Matt Weiner of the Padres, he was able to offer a great discount for the suite, due to several selected games for Waddell & Reed. He further extended that offer GSDBA through me. And, that got me thinking. How many GSDBA Member professionals would want to participate in a benefit that was negotiated with the Padres? Would any member be interested in developing that kind of client appreciation event or sponsorship in Major Sports.

A couple of weeks later, out comes Jason Collins in the National Basketball League. And, the day after, long time visible lesbian and tennis great, Martina Navratilova is prominently on NPR and is featured in Sports Illustrated. What a welcome change from her being featured in the 1980's in the National Enquirer.

Then, today, I had one more opportunity with National Sports in San Diego. A meeting with the Manager in San Diego, James Haug, here at the company where I work scheduled for me to sit with Clear Channel Media and Entertainment. They presented the opportunity to sponsor a program that included their radio station KOGO and the Chargers. After the presentation, some basic conversation, they asked me whether I would be interested. And, I have to admit, that is an open door few willingly offer.  They were slow to recover in the conversation. One was stunned while one was open to following up. I even was prepared, mentioning Nike and Jason Collins. My sports lesbians would be so proud!

I revealed my interest at providing opportunities to present to GSDBA members. I asked whether they had similar opportunities with data specific to the LGBT market or women. I reminded them I was committed to the idea that the LGBT community enjoy Major Sports and the Major Sports should stronger consider support for those who are not considered their traditional market.

I think the conversation died when I asked for sexual orientation data, gender specific information related to women, and whether they had a successful station where the demographics provided talk radio or music which attracted one of my target markets (progressives, the LGBT market, and independent women). They were able to suggest recent radio station purchases for a follow up meeting.

Yet, the sponsorship was intriguing, the price tag provided a time out for oxygen. I did encourage them to pursue research from CMI so that in the future we could discuss marketing data relevant to who I serve.

Sometimes it is just fun, living in the land of suits, to boldly declare request information important to my clients, my affiliated businesses, and the community I proudly enjoy. And, secretly, over 20 years, I have watched as someone ill prepared manages through the remainder of the conversation. Yet, I enjoy the opportunity to expand horizons and offer the challenge to help me help others.  I am clear that ClearChannel is familiar with the LGBT Community.  I look forward to future opportunities that can develop between this corporation and the LGBT Community.

Ethel Merman, Musicals and Passion of the Heart

In my family, being the hostess means something.  My grandmother always prepared what to others might be considered a feast, but to us seemed normal.  Each generation has their host or hostess responsibility, male or female, each has their role.  Perhaps that is why we all enjoy company.

Meals around food.  Always having something to share.  Cookies in the jar, refreshments available.  Gathering for a drink.  Dinner after Church.  Spending time with others but always making other welcome to join the party.  Rubbing elbows, telling stories, encouraging debate and discussion, guiding appropriateness.  Speaking our mind from a place of love and care.  Encouraging others to pursue goals, dreams, and hopes.  Being called the hostess with the mostest is the highest honor. 

Sometimes I toy with the idea of whether Hillary can sing, wing the Presidency and start of her speech by singing the song just to shock the nation into cooperation.  I know I'd vote with her just to see it happen!

Perhaps, I am more like Ethel than I care to admit.  Brash, a song in my step, and somewhat direct.  Comfortable on stage, always passionate in motivating others and ready to go the extra mile to make something work for someone else.  Its important that people achieve what they love, and its amazing when they are honored to have help.
   
Let me share a special memory.  One of the first times that Carleton hung out with me, I already had set in my mind, through Netflix to watch "Call Me Madam".  When he arrived, to his horror, I was presenting only one option, a musical.  Poor boy didn't know what was coming and was considering the alternatives.

Within moments, years after her passing, Ethel had Carleton's attention.  He was moving, enjoying the performance, and even was so engaged, asked to see her perform "Hostest with the Mostest" a second time.  I lauged, but started it the second time.  Just to see whether he would even get up just to join in.  I'll keep the answer a secret.

I have attached two of my favorite songs from musicals.  It is from this very movie.  You may roll your eyes like Carleton did, but maybe like Carleton, within 5 minutes, you will be singing or dancing along with Ethel.  It certainly is  one of his first "favorite moments" and we smile and have even suggested certain nurses at UCSD qualify as the Hostess with the Mostest when he has stayed there. 
 
The second song perhaps defines for me what love is.  Some, at the church where I pastored in Portland will remember Cynthia Butts and I performing "You're Not Sick, Your Just in Love" in a talent show. 

It certainly describes love for many.  It can't be judged, it can only be defined.  How helpful when someone else can help explain the feelings without having to know to whom you have those feelings.

For years, I always sang the part of the junior of the duet.  It seems lately, let's just say, I sing the "older" part.  Likely the other reason at times I identify with the Broadway Lady Herself, Ethel.  Performance, a rhythm in your step, and a song in your heart.  No matter the circumstance, it is a recipe for recovery and facing life's events, no matter how serious.

It still is a relatively current message, as Chenowith and Lane, sing the very same song.  At least, I don't have the velvet gloves.

I am what I am, are you?

This week was a week where we saw terror at a marathon in Boston.  Home to home searches, death, and a government decision to avert due process including Miranda rights.

Many may suggest that this is necessary.  I do not.  I crave and care for the civil rights of all people.  When those civil rights are impacted, out of supposed necessity, I am concerned about what that will do in the future.

So much of the diversity I cherish in America comes from those who are unique, powerful in their own perception of reality.  Minority communities are often marginalized until people from that community refuse any longer to tolerate being anything other than equal.  The Black Community, Women, The LGBT Community, Asians, Hispanics, those from Eastern Europe, from Africa, and those who worship differently. 

The contributions to our culture is imbued with the differences of these communities and their beliefs.  Our music is constantly renewed and reenergized as people hear new sounds, new beats, new ways to hear old souls, old wisdom and old cultures.

Terrorism, bullying, intimidation, control, superiority, power.   All have costs and consequences, all are responses to past hurts and behaviors.  Without an examination of the past, an identification of the issues, an embrace of the mistakes and an appreciation for the soul, these acts will continue.  Manipulation, betrayal, and the belief that one does not have other options lead to this path of destruction that so impacts societies worldwide, further hurting communities dulling many to the horror, inhibiting their abilities toward forgiveness, sympathy and love.

After a terrible week for our nation as we relived terrorism in Boston, while we watched with concern the pursuit of two boys as they killed, I worried.  Will we resolve to expect more terrorism?  Will we search for solutions or accept it into our lives?  Are there alternatives that do not destroy our cherished civil rights as this government the last 12 years, from both political parties, so callously ignore and are unwilling to restore?

Diversity of our minority communities enhance not only our music, but our economy.  The immigration of those who are new to our culture revitalizes our own.  Let us not forget to embrace their courage, their struggle, and the discrimination and possible persecution that would move them to want to start over, flee to our land, or simply want a better life.

I enjoy the authentic Indian food I purchase at the indian outlet in the Mission Valley Mall, Monsoon is a great place for the exploration and enjoyment.  When I want other ethnic food, I explore to my hearts content.

Diversity in our music and our food leads to greater diversity in our economy.  Dollars in the LGBT Community simply for travel grows LGBT Friendly economies significantly.  Forbes Magazine in 2011 reported "10 Things You Need to Know about Gay Travel" listing that over $65 Billion in LGBT travel in the US alone is generated from the LGBT Community.  When it comes to choosing one hotel over another, price and gay-friendly reputation are top priorities.  So, being friendly is important, but more important is that you support the organizations that the community trusts.  It is no surprise that major cities where states accept gay marriage have huge revenue generation in their economies.

Diversity matters.  Americans are proud of their individualism and American minority communities are no different.  They embrace America and its opportunities while appreciating their uniqueness in belief and culture.  Appreciating America in its diversity is the first step to understanding our ability to respond to crisis around the world.  For, it is likely, we identify with someone personally from that area of the world.

At the end of the day, I embrace the diversity of the American culture.  I accept that there are parts I do not appreciate as much as others.  Admittedly, I have said that Rap music has a silent "C" in the name.  I do not enjoy the extremist nature of those who suggest they need uzzies to protect their second amendment rights. 

Yet, I admire the passion, the openness, the courage of those who walk down the street daring others to judge them.  I appreciate the person who "comes out" expecting hate yet surprised at the acceptance.  I am moved by those who unite behind someone who carries the burden of another.  See, ultimately, in our diversity, we face the same struggles for love, acceptance, joy, and the pursuit of happiness.

In an effort to confirm your belief in Diversity, I hope you will share this with others.  And, include the following link, or one similar in your honoring of diversity.  La Cage Aux Folles likely sang it best, though many voices have sung it at the top of their lungs across continents since. 

Let's turn our thoughts to those who embrace the diversity we cherish. Your life is a sham until you can say "Hey, World, I am what I am". Whether you say it as Popeye or as a performer in La Cage Aux Folles, I embrace who I am. I hope you will embrace who you are and enjoy the diversity of differences. 

It certainly makes my world more vibrant. My closest friends are those who are unabashed to be who they are. I trust in their individualism, appreciate their history, their courage, and their power. You may not always think the delivery is perfect, but the pure honesty is what makes it so valuable to me. Care to share your favorite performance of "I am what I am" or what makes you appreciate the differences between you and your friends? Diveristy can unite. What do you appreciate in someone else? Post it here then tell that person. I am what I am, are you?